Shaikh al-Albaani

Translations From His Works

Category: Marriage

On Marriage


The Imaam said, “If a suitor’s uprightness in his [day to day] life is not known before he proposes, you’re going to make it a condition that he prays and gives charity [after he’s married?]! Someone greater than you, your Creator and his, [already] stipulated that condition on him—so if he’s failed to meet the provision set by the Lord of the Worlds, won’t he fail to meet one set by a humble man? For that reason, this stipulation, my brother, is ink on paper of no value.”

Al-Hudaa wan-Noor, 174.

How does a Husband Deal with the Differences that Occur Between His Mother and His Wife?


 

Questioner: I have a mother and she causes problems with my wife, what should I do?

Al-Albaani: I’m thinking about this question [and as to] what my answer should be—I’m not with you such that I can know how it is that you deal with your mother and how she deals with your wife, so that I can [then, based upon that] say in answer to your question that you should do such and such. I don’t know what should be done.

But maybe you can bring to mind Allaah’s Statement عز وجل, “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.’” [Al-Israa 23-24]

Maybe you interact with your mother the way your Lord has decreed in this aayah?

Questioner: Oh Shaikh …

Al-Albaani: I’m asking you but you’re not answering, maybe you are doing what your Lord has decreed in this aayah?

Questioner: Yes …

Al-Albaani: So then what’s the problem?

Questioner: The problem is that she is ignorant of the legislation and opposes it in my house and with my wife, and when … I’ll give you some examples, O Shaikh …

Al-Albaani: No, we’re not in need of examples. Is she, for example, more misguided than Aazar, [Prophet] Ibrahim’s father?

Questioner: I don’t know that story well, O Shaikh.

Al-Albaani: Don’t you know that Ibrahim عليه السلام was the Khaleel of Ar-Rahmaan, and his father was a polytheist, and in the Quraan it mentions that he would [yet still] always admonish him by saying, “O my father! O my father! O my father!” “O my father! Do not worship the Devil!” [Maryam: 44]. So he was always gentle with him even though he was a polytheist—and no matter how ignorant, as you said, your mother is, she still, inshaa Allaah, is not a polytheist, so it is important that you are gentle in dealing with her, this is from one angle.

On the other hand concerning your wife, is she righteous, inshaa Allaah, and listens to what you say and obeys you?

Questioner: This is the other problem, she is also ignorant of some of the legislation.

Al-Albaani: Then how do you want me to give you an answer to a problem which is sitting between two? The first is to do with your mother and the other is connected to your wife—you find a solution to it according to what the legislation and sound reasoning together dictate.

Al-Hudaa wan-Noor, 437.

Ignorant Students Who Propped Themselves Up Treading Where Al-Albaani Wouldn’t Go: The Shaikh Asked About a Father in the UK Forcing His Daughter to Marry Someone Who Doesn’t Pray


 

Questioner: A father who doesn’t pray, he wants to force his daughter who is practicing to marry a guy who doesn’t pray, so the daughter went ahead and disobeyed her father and left the home and married a practising man with the agreement of, ‘the person charged with authority over the affairs of the Muslims [‘Walee Amr al-Muslimeen’],’ in that area, so what is the ruling about that marriage?

Al-Albaani: How is, ‘the person charged with authority over the affairs of the Muslims [‘Walee Amr al-Muslimeen’],’ her walee? Is it possible for you to explain the picture further?

Questioner: It’s about Britain, O Shaikh of Ours.

Al-Albaani: The, ‘Walee Amr al-Muslimeen,’ in Britain.

Questioner: There are people in authority [umaraa], O Shaikh of Ours, in different areas in the UK, they undertake the supervision of the affairs of the Muslims as regards Islamic centres and marriage contracts and affairs such as these, so she got married through this man and refused to marry through her father who doesn’t pray to someone who doesn’t pray.

Al-Albaani: We like this refusal and hold it to be incumbent—but the other problem is [still] there, which is for her to marry without the permission of her walee when the Prophet ﷺ said, “And if there is any dispute then the ruler is the guardian of the one who does not have a guardian.”

So I want to see the, ‘Walee al-Muslimeen,’ [of Britain] as you termed him—and [when you said that] the mind wandered off thinking, ‘Where is this Walee al-Muslimeen and in which country?’

And lo [and behold] he is in Britain.

So these people who are there, who have propped themselves up as those in authority [umaraa]—in your opinion are they scholars?

Questioner: Students of knowledge, O Shaikh.

Al-Albaani: In this situation I say that a Muslim girl must ask someone whose knowledge she trusts, presenting her story to that scholar, whether he [i.e., that scholar] is in the east or the west, [asking], ‘What is the solution that you have? My father wants me to marry a non-Muslim man or someone who is a faasiq at the very least, and a religious, practicing person has proposed to me …’ and so on, ‘What should I do?’

So this scholar who [really] is a scholar and who is from those people who are in authority according to the text of the Noble Quran [see Surah Nisaa 4:59], it is possible that he can permit her to marry—[but] I fear about those who you initially referred to with that inflated statement [of yours, i.e., when he called them, ‘the person charged with authority over the affairs of the Muslims [‘Walee Amr al-Muslimeen’]] and then you brought it down a little by saying they were ‘those in authority’ … and these ones ‘in authority’ have propped themselves up, no one put them there—and such a situation results in many evils and much fitnah.

And I am virtually certain that they speak about many issues which they come across there without knowledge—because they, as you said, are students of knowledge—and what knowledge have they acquired? Maybe he has a degree or a doctorate in some sciences—and then he goes and sits in those alien lands and lands of disbelief, expanding what he knows a little.

So what is important is that this issue needs caution and restraint and that it is not rushed, such that we get rid of one problem only to fall into another, ‘We were in the rain and then ended up under the drain,’ as they say—the father orders her to marry a disbeliever or a faasiq, it isn’t allowed for her to obey him but it also isn’t allowed for her to marry herself off. She must take her case to a Muslim ruler/judge [haakim], and it is this haakim who will marry her off—and these people [you mentioned] are not haakims.

Questioner: If they got someone to write to you, O Shaikh of ours, if they wrote to you, so that you could write an answer for them, inshaa Allaah.

Al-Albaani: No. I’m not from them, they write to the one who judges and passes judgement between the people—I can give a fatwa but I do not adjudicate.

Al-Hudaa wan-Noor, 542.

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