And there are some authentic hadiths which we are also in need of remembering practically and not [leaving it at] just [being acquainted with them] as a notion or a piece of knowledge, and [one of them is] his saying عليه الصلاة والسلام, “Do not hate one another, and do not be jealous of one another; and do not desert [cut your relations with] each other, and O Allaah’s worshippers! Be brothers. Lo! It is not permissible for any Muslim to desert [not talk to] his brother [Muslim] for more than three days.’” Bukhari no.6065
Why does he ostracise him? Out of hatred and jealousy, not for a legislated reason, not because he disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger; rather the worst that can be said is that: [the person being boycotted] disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger due to what the person arguing with him holds to be a misunderstanding, but he didn’t openly proclaim disobedience, he did not believe that this [i.e., what he was doing] was a sin yet despite that [it is possible that] he is disobeying Allaah the Mighty and Majestic, so then [because of that] one of us comes along and boycotts him.
There is no doubt that this boycotting is legislated but cutting off from one another due to a difference in views and in understanding is the turning away from one another which is prohibited in the first part of this hadith, “Do not hate one another, and do not be jealous of one another; and do not desert [cut your relations with] each other …” Additionally, this characteristic or type of manners, i.e., being jealous of one another is something which has spread amongst our Salafi brothers.
So at times in some areas there will be a dispute over who will give a speech or lesson … ‘No, I have more right!’ ‘No, he does!’ Yaa Jamaa’ah, fear Allaah regarding yourselves.
If there is someone who has some knowledge and he wants to share what he knows amongst the people then leave him and let him speak and aid him in that. Do not look at each other to gain superiority and by being arrogant towards him because you see him to be less than you in terms of knowledge, and he may see the situation to be the opposite to you, and thus dissension and conflict begin.
And as a result of that these issues which the Prophet عليه السلام forbade in the authentic hadith occur, “Do not hate one another, and do not be jealous of one another; and do not desert [cut your relations with] each other, and O Allaah’s worshippers! Be brothers. Lo! It is not permissible for any Muslim to desert [not talk to] his brother [Muslim] for more than three days.’”
It is obligatory to sever this boycotting and end it.
This hadith, in reality, is from the Mercy of Allaah the Mighty and Majestic upon His servants, because He did not forbid boycotting absolutely, but left open the opportunity for some sick souls to vent their anger and spite and jealousy within three days. It suffices a person to vent his anger through these three days, he has been allowed to do that. But if he exceeds that [time limit] then he has done something haraam.
And as occurs in some authentic hadiths, by exceeding the three days in which the Legislator has permitted him to boycott, he would deserve to enter the Fire, in another hadith [there occurs], ‘It is not allowed for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three. They meet and so this one turns away from that one, and that one from this. And the best of them is the one who initiates giving the salutation to his brother,’ i.e., if it is difficult for this Muslim who has, allowably, cut off from his brother for three days, but at the same time he has not forgotten the severe threat from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم that it is not allowed for him to continue in that for more than three days, [if it is difficult for him] then the least that [can be done] … to actualise amicability between the two people who have cut off from each other after three days … immediately, straightaway it is enough to escape from this threat for him to initiate giving his brother salaam. Then after that salaam some talking will occur and after that talking some friendship … and so on. And as is said, ‘Rains start with a drop, and then pours forth.’
So nothing less than a Muslim taking the initiative to give salaam to his brother who he had boycotted on the third day and in that is an escape from the threat that accompanies boycotting … for three days.
Listen along with me to this prophetic saying from the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and the threat it contains for the one who cuts off from his brother without a just cause, he صلى الله عليه وسلم said, ‘The Gates of Paradise are opened every Monday and Thursday, and every servant who does not associate anything with Allaah is forgiven …’ We rejoice at this, ‘Because we are the callers to tawheed, and we are the ones who raise the banner of calling to tawheed, and to eliminating any form of shirk with Allaah,’ so we then assume that we will enter Paradise without any reckoning or punishment, [like a flight] ‘in transit’ as is said today, because we are monotheists who do not associate anything in worship with Allaah–but this is not the case [i.e., we are not guaranteed Paradise].
Listen to this hadith and comprehend it and try to follow it as your model in your life, ‘The Gates of Paradise are opened every Monday and Thursday, and every slave who does not associate anything with Allaah is forgiven, except a man between whom and his brother is a grudge. It is said, ‘Wait for these two until they reconcile. Wait for these two until they reconcile. Wait for these two until they reconcile,’ i.e., wait for them and do not forgive them until they reconcile and return to being brothers, ‘… on thrones facing each other.’ Ibrahim 15:47
‘The Gates of Paradise are opened every Monday and Thursday, and every slave who does not associate anything with Allaah is forgiven, except a man between whom and his brother is a grudge. It is said, ‘Wait for these two until they reconcile. Wait for these two until they reconcile. Wait for these two until they reconcile,’ then in another hadith he عليه السلام said, ‘There are three whose prayer does not rise more than a hand span above their heads: A man who leads people [in prayer] when they do not like him; a woman who has spent the night with her husband angry with her; and two brothers who have severed contact with one another,’ i.e., cut off from one another, harbouring mutual enmity.
So the evil effect of boycotting, ostracising and leaving one another without a legislated justification apart from a difference in opinion is that [one’s] prayer is not raised to Allaah and is not accepted, as He the Most High said, “To Him ascends good speech, and righteous work raises it.” Faatir 35:10
So the prayer of these two who have severed contact with one another is not raised up to Allaah the Blessed and Most High.